For so long you have nurtured me, fed me, picked me up when I have fallen and loved me even when I have railed against you. You have been there through thick and thin, teaching me along the way, teaching me to trust… over and over again teaching me to trust, I must be a slow learner….
Like an incensed puppy, intent on chewing my way through everything I could touch I have rebelled. I have sought paths that you have encouraged me away from and again and again. And again and again I have found myself floundering face down in my own water bowl. Only for you to lift my head time and again to stop me from drowning in my own curiosity.
Father, when they Crucified my Brother, though your cry shook the earth you still found time to set aside a space for me. A Space in your heart was aligned to me, a place by your side, an inconceivable inheritance always behind your plans for me. What have I done that I should be considered so special? What have I done that no matter all your concerns of the universe you still find it important to find time… for me.
I answer myself knowing that there is nothing that I have done, nothing that I could possibly do to make myself worthy. That only in your Grace and your love is such a position in your heart possible. I cannot force you or anyone else to love me any more than I can hold the wind in my hands.
Every time I reach up I find you reaching down. Every time I cry out, I hear you cry louder at the pain of your beloved child. Yet every time my tears roll your gentle hand is there to brush them away and say ‘be still my child, for I Love you more than the power of a thousand oceans’.
Father you are my rock, my foundation when everything else is slipping away. My potter when I am nothing but ruins and I love you.
I know one day we will meet again face to face but until then I have your voice to carry me . To see me through as you have time and again. Eternal, relentless, pursuing love. Far more than I can offer.. sometimes more than I can cope with, but always a direct chain from my heart to yours.
Say ‘Hi’ to my Brother Yeshua, I’ve missed Him and looking forward to seeing Him again soon.
I Love you Dad,